Rockies Rally

The rockies held a rally today at noon, in downtown Denver. I know what you’re thinking – good fer them, they had a magical season, and they deserve to take their bows.

Wrong!

What the ralliers don’t realize, is that we are rallying too late! Many of these people seem to be under the impression that the World Series is still being played.

So, I submit to you, the humanoids, that we pool our resources and build a molecular time machine. Once we do that, we’ll need to build a molecular transmorgifier, which will cost more money. Then we’ll have to build a time traveling vessel of some sort. I’m thinking we raid an abandoned carnival junkyard. We will then need to hire someone who is willing to stay behind and operate the molecular transmorgifier. We will travel back to game one of the World Series, and plant dead animals in the Red Sox lockers. Then we’ll go further back in time, and tell Peta that the Red Sox keep dead animals in their lockers, and that they should check them before the game begins. We will then have to go back to the 50s, and tell Marty he has to trust his dad. Then, we’ll visit the middle ages, where two righteous babes will choose us over two royal dickweeds. Then it’s to the creation of pancakes.

There’s only one problem. We’ll need to transmit a message to einstein to build and leave in a secret location a reverse molecular transmorgifier. Drats!