No, I Will Not Have Another God Damn Brownie

Oh man, shit, dude, shit man.  Dude.  Shit.  Oh, man.

I have ate so many fucking brownies, like, the last three days.  I mean, shit dude, I don’t think I could even fucking tell you exactly how many of those little chocolate wonders I’ve ingested over the last 72 hours.

It all started after Christmas, bro.   I mean, I’m not really religious or whatever, but damn Grandma can fucking COOK up some CHRISTMAS SHIT!   Holy shit, that pecan pie fucking blew my mind, and the turkey was juicier than a god damn stripper’s ass.  I mean, I wanted to bite right into that shit.

And the potatoes — fuuuuuuuuuuck.

But it was those leftover brownies she sent home with me, bro.   I shit you  not, that shit tastes exactly like fucking heaven.   Well, like I said, I ain’t no religious nut or nuthin’, but dude if I fuckin’ believed in that shit, I bet you that’s exactly what spending eternity with the Heavenly Father would taste like.  My taste buds were all like, “oh shit, bro.”

But do NOT, I said DO NOT, ask me if I want to eat another one.   I’ve ate more brownies than that Kobayashi fucker.   Seriously!   I’ve literally eaten close to 300 brownies since saturday, dude.   And I fuckin’ downed half those fuckers with a delish 151/Pepsi mix.   Followed by what could be described as the most ultimalte Lost marathon ever.

So please, dude, do NOT hand that shit my way. Do NOT eat any in front of me, and DO NOT ask me if I want another god damn brownie.